I Dyed My Eyebrows

No, this is not supposed to be a catchy, creative title. It's a confession. While dying eyebrows may be something of common practice, I'm not familiar with it. And because I feel a bit… ……weird…..silly…..strange……bizzare…..goofy….what is the word?....slightly embarrassed by the ultimate manifestation of frivolous vanity because no one except me can even tell the difference.......I have to tell on myself.

See, I've been darkening my eyebrows every morning for years now with an eye shadow of sorts. Being fair skinned, light eyed, and light haired means for me that I also have eyebrows no one can see. So I've always darkened them. But now I'm trying another tactic.

This was the first time I'd ever dyed anything myself. Wasn't quite sure what to expect and was mildly apprehensive about the prospect of burning my eyebrows off in pursuit of lasting color. I had to wash off the first attempt because I had applied the mixture with a q-tip, which not only got the eyebrows but the skin beneath as well. And naturally, the acrid odor of hair dye comes with its very own stinging sensation, especially so in the sensitive facial area. I was in serious danger of looking like Groucho Marx for the next 24 hours - what wasn't stained brown in a thick, fake line would be flaming red with irritation. So pretty.

The second attempt was applied to just the brows using an old clear mascara wand. Much better. I still didn't leave the solution on for the full 25 minutes, though. I'm not sure how sturdy eyebrows are and whether that would make them fall out. Chemically frying them to the balding point would kinda defeat the purpose.

I wish I'd taken pictures of the process, a before and after, but alas. Perhaps next time, once this fades, or, God forbid, turns orange in the sunlight, or goes horribly awry in some other unimaginable way. Because that's what I need - a big sign on my face that says, "yes, I am this big of a moron."

Michael's response when I told him what I'd done: "I…....I don’t know what to say to that."

Congratulations, freak-show?